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When Pigs Fly! | Theo

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When Pigs Fly! | Theo Empty When Pigs Fly! | Theo

Post by Jamie Thu Jan 20, 2022 5:01 am



☆ When Pigs Fly! ☆


The pig squealed and snorted as he headed skyward—an absolute chonker of a specimen floating magnificently into the air, it’s pot belly jiggling in such a way that would put even the fluffiest of Mirian’s to shame. Fearful blue eyes threatened to bulge out of its sockets while it kicked and bucked its stubby legs in an attempt to both ward off the effects of gravity (Non-gravity? Zero gravity?? What would this even be called!?) and a thick rope tied snuggly around its giant waist. And from that thick rope a thick strand dragged against one of the many dirt paths of Otenshire. And from that thick strand did one Jamie Sunderland struggle to hold on.

“Inosuke-kun, come on,” the brunette nervously laughed, voice trembling ever so slightly. “Y-You can come down now. This isn’t funny and— UWAAAHH!!!!

In one sudden lurch, the pig flew even higher than before. What had started as a simple task of herding had turned into some deranged situation all because of one mischievous Fae who had happened to make their way into the picturesque fields of Otenshire. All it had taken was one simple question, a small back and forth between said Fae and some farmer, and the phrase 'when pigs fly!' to be angrily shouted which set off the floating porcine calamity.

“Inosuke-kun! No! No! she shrieked. Jamie had been struggling with the grey potbelly which she had so endearingly taken to naming after an anime she had watched some time ago. She’d been dragged on her heels at first, the back of her boots carving deep lines into the soil, then by the tips of her toes. But it was the final lurch which swooped her screaming up into the sky.

From her point of view, it was easy to see how much chaos the Fae had achieved. Farmers and bystanders alike all dodged and tackled at rampant pigs like a wild game of football. Some flew off with them, others actually managed to hold down the squealers and snorters long enough to de-magic them and get them back into their owner's rightful pens while others ran and toppled barrels and knocked over fruit stands. “Oh boy…”

She gulped, unsure of much her grip would last. In school she’d never been the most athletically gifted student and dying hadn’t exactly gifted her with superhuman powers. Nope. She was just same ol’ same ol’. She could’ve let go sooner, honestly; but the prospect of getting paid kept her gritting her teeth and locked into place… even though her arms were feeling awfully hot and wobbly.

It didn’t matter! She had merch to buy and figurines to collect!! She NEEDED the gold even if it cost her her— Wait, no, nononono. Was dying again really worth it for some stupid figures!? Wait, hold on, did she just call them stupid!?

Her internal struggles were halted when from down below a peculiar noise caught her ear. The loudest, most deepest set of snorts in the history of mankind rang throughout the squabble, followed by a heavy set of hooves stomping across the ground. She blinked down at him, eyes widening as a singular name popped into her mind and left her mouth.

"Fat Albert."

If Inosuke-kun was a chonker this pig was an absolute unit of massive proportions. Chubby, barely able to walk and breathing raggedly as though it could give out at any second. Pink folds of skin fell over its beady black eyes and a red bandana was tied into a neat bow around his neck. It was… awfully cute, she had to admit. It didn’t seem to be too bothered by its surroundings and she almost “aaaw’d” at it from up in the sky. But it wasn’t until the giant started a very, very, very slow ascension into the heavens that she screamed one final time.

“Someone, anyone! Grab Fat Albert!! I mean… GET THAT PIGGY!!!

Word Count: 0655
Total Word Count: 0655

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When Pigs Fly! | Theo Empty Re: When Pigs Fly! | Theo

Post by Theo Thu Jan 20, 2022 11:57 pm

Yet another adventurer had been hired in addition to the legion of others, except this one was possibly causing more chaos than he was solving, and that was saying something given the rampaging winged hogs. His arrival was obvious, given the bright and gleaming assortment of oversized jello molds popping up all over like toadstools after a soaking rain... if toadstools jiggled and were full of pigs...

While Theo Silversong had been in Otenshire to begin with for less than upstanding reasons-- he was dropping off a shipment of Rivengate contraband to some closeted enthusiasts-- he was now on an official emergency guild quest, and that meant more coin. Vigs would be paid for every pig caught! The man was thrilled and maybe more than a little bit greedy, but hey, his tracksuit was getting really ratty. And sitting in the forest naked waiting for it to dry after a washing was kinda scary.

"AAAAIIIIEEEEE!!!!" came a warbling screech of surprise and terror, rapidly approaching Fat Albert and the floating Inosuke with unnamed girl in tow. He honestly couldn't pinpoint when the porker had circled back around, but it had barreled through his legs and, since he was covered in little rainbow blobs of jello from a previous scuffle, Theo easily stuck to him. Now he was riding the snorting beast, who was as fast as Obese Alberto was large. "STAAAHP!" he cried, too distracted and shocked to remember he controlled the jello and could have easily unstuck himself. He didn't think very fast on the fly, not when it was just his own fate at stake. However, when it was someone else...

Sobering up as if he hadn't just been screeching in panic seconds ago, Theo's luminous blue eyes of pale ice glanced up at the voice in the air. He blinked a few times before his mouth and eyes widened.

"How... do you know their names?" he asked in awe. Yes. That was the most important thing at hand, clearly.

Was she one of the farmers? He just assumed that was the case.

And just like that, the ebony-haired man remembered his (still limited) control over his magic and unstuck himself, roughly at the same time he abruptly encompassed the beast below him in lemon jello from the belly down. The sudden stop lurched him forward, where it looked like he was about to faceplant in the dirt, and he did. Instead of the dull thump of a normal human body, though, his skin and bones rippled and jiggled as if he was jello himself, and he bounced high into the air right at the massive flying pig.

"Here piggy, piggy!"

Torpedoing right into Fat Albert from below, he only now realized his blunder. Well-intentioned as it was, he was now barrelling himself and the pig at an even faster pace higher and higher, spinning as they went, until they would most likely crash into the farmer girl clinging to the rope. Using his sticky hands to climb up and onto his back, he tried to grab the thick folds over those horrifying beady eyes and steer him away, but no dice.

"Ah, ah, ah, ah? REEEEEEEE!" he screamed in unison with alarmed pig noises. The collision seemed to happen in slow motion. Yes, this was once an accomplished mage who had saved lives in another world if you could believe it, and despite the goofiness and hardships, some things would never change. Reaching out to slap a sticky hand to the brunette, he hoped to at least keep her from falling.

Except they were all now falling. Fat Albert was out of breath and losing altitude... fast. Whipping his other hand out, he conjured another, rather large jello mold in brilliant green on the ground under them. So green, it put the grass to shame! It blinded the unworthy in the sun! It smelled of limes and happiness, and it would save their lives! With a great, sickening squidgy sound, the pig sunk into the jello, completely encased except for his snout that jutted out of the side like a pimple.

As for the less piggy pair, just as they'd impact the quivering mass of sugar, Theo made a swooping motion with his finger and one side smoothed into a sloping slide. They'd land softly and then roll down the slide into the lush wheat field he'd just crushed a large portion of.

[wc: 736 || total: 1391]
Theo
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When Pigs Fly! | Theo Empty Re: When Pigs Fly! | Theo

Post by Jamie Sat Jan 22, 2022 12:30 am



☆ When Pigs Fly! ☆


The mainland was really lively today, wasn’t it? A lot of weird things were going on in just the space of a few hours—from angry Fae to flying pigs to random gelatin—and a large part of her was glad to have popped out of her hidey hole in Rivengate and experience the world, although right now all the world had managed was to send her heart pounding and her chest wavering more out of fear than anything. And from the slight sting in her hands as she slipped a little lower, she was pretty sure she was getting a mild case of rope burn. “Aha… ahaha….” she nervously laughed some more. Panic and novelty were at each other’s throats like eternal rivals who had just crossed swords after a long training arc. With each class of metaphorical steel, she wasn’t sure if she wanted to cry, laugh, or stare blankly into the distance.

Some totally conflicting emotions here! Nice!

“Huh?” A really loud, kinda girly-sounding scream caught her attention and for a second she thought yet another girl had been blown off into the sky for the sake of money. It was anything but, however, when her attention went to a guy in a tracksuit struggling with the adorable Fat Albert. Jamie couldn’t see very all too well what was going on from her height, but he looked colorful and completely stuck and in need of some help himself.

“What? What did you say!? I can’t hear you!” she yelled back in return. Between the squealing and snorting pigs, the wild flapping of wings as Inosuke-kun struggled with her weight, the wind whipping her face and the general chaos from down below it was a little hard to really home in on whatever he was saying, though he did seem to be addressing her at least. Just a second later, though, her curiosity fell flat and her face scrunched into an alarmingly confused look as the guy bounced off the ground with Fat Albert in tow.

Was he… was he coming to save her?

“H-Hold on…”

Realization sunk in fast.

“Wait, waitwaitwaitwaitwait— HYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!” With what little time she had to react, Jamie tried to kick in the air to remove herself from the screaming torpedoing tracksuited, jelly-covered, pig-mounting hero’s path. The action only loosened her already weakening grip and so she scrambled to grab onto whatever she could when they came tumbling down.

She hugged whatever the heck she was holding on to with the intensity of a woman accepting death’s embrace. Her green eyes blinked open a few minutes later and she whipped up into attention, her nerves practically trying to escape her skin as she took in the pretty field around her with large doe eyes. Maybe she came off a bit like a madwoman, what, with her hair having been made a springy tousled mess and the nice-smelling jello staining her clothes as she promptly tried to calm herself down with a tiny breath.

From her came a sound like a whine.

“Hhnnng…! I’m okay!” She threw her arms up in the air, an imaginary fanfare playing in the background. A stupid smile plastered over whatever disbelief and fear had been prominent mere seconds ago, though it was clear some was still left over from how her arms shook regardless of her happy composure. She was terrified, of course, but for moments like these it was easier to just keep positive and roll with it. No use for freaking out… for now. She did survive, after all!

The adrenaline of it all still kicked through her, and it was probably the reason why she hadn’t realized that she wasn’t fully sitting on the ground and there was, in fact, something underneath her. Jamie looked down in surprise and gasped immediately, hand covering her mouth worriedly as she leaned over him.

“Ah! Are you alright!?” Beneath her was the same person who had managed to somehow save her life.... and the same thing she had apparently been hugging before. The brunette stared at him for a few unblinking moments, her mind trailing back to what exactly he had just done and completely oblivious to the giant green block behind her. Instead of thinking of anything—or stating her thanks, for that matter—it only remembered how her jelly-covered savior’s body jiggled when he’d faceplanted a while before. “Wait a moment…” she muttered, squinting suspiciously over his chest and leaned even closer to his face.

A jiggling body…? Able to produce gelatin…? Blue eyes that reminded her of…

A much longer, more drawn-out gasp parted her lips and her eyes went wide. “You’re like… you’re just like... General Jelly Jiggler!!!” Instead of the pretty cute guy who had just saved her moments ago, in his place all she could see was a cartoony block of blue with limbs resembling that of a person. Adrenaline and excitement all worked in tandem, thus her hands were on his cheeks in an instant. She smooshed them together lightly, then pulled at them a few times. “Are you made of jello? Would you fall down a drain if you walked over one??” she asked, innocent curiosity wracking her weeby self. “Wait wait, actually, if I tasted you… would you taste like jello, too??? Ahh, you’re so cool!”

This… was possibly the best day of her life.

So far.

Word Count: 0897
Total Word Count: 2288

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When Pigs Fly! | Theo Empty Re: When Pigs Fly! | Theo

Post by Theo Sat Jan 22, 2022 11:04 am

Usually, his shortness of breath was from the horrible heart problems he had here in Vyldermire, but at least this time, it was because a girl was sitting on his abdomen. The jello man tried to hide his wheeze, choosing instead to counter stare into her wide eyes with equally wide ones of his own until a silly, if not slightly distressed smile appeared on his face. Due to the aforementioned lack of air, he merely nodded to her question about his well-being, choosing to suffer in suffocating silence. If this was how he went out, then a smile better suits a hero than being beaten to a pulp for unintentionally implying a young woman was heavy and therefore fat by telling her he couldn't get much air... Arguably, he didn't really want to be alive anymore anyway.

Instead of rolling off, she remained perched to really study him, and he sincerely hoped he wasn't turning blue. Was she mocking him now? That long gasp was exactly what he wanted to do! Had he just saved some depraved, sadistic murderer? Was she not a farmer after all? Had she been keeping pigs to dispose of her victims, bones and all? Pigs really were frightening creatures without the wings. If a man fell into a pin, nothing would be left of him! Their mouths were like all-encompassing voids, or just really effective vacuums cleaners... Did the pig-keeping serial killer see the same rainbow stars that he did dancing between their faces?

"...General Jelly Jiggler!"

"Mm?" he asked, some of the air-deprived stars vanishing once the cheek pinching started. His cheeks stretched and smooshed in cartoonish ways between her fingers. Oh, that's right! No wonder he couldn't get any air. The last time she pulled his cheeks, they only stretched the normal amount, going from the texture of gelatin to normal human skin. The rest of his body became more solid and normal beneath her as well, meaning his very real muscles could easily support her weight with minimal difficulty. Theo sucked in some air as if he'd just broken the surface of a deep ocean, but once the gasping and wheezing were out of the way, he could answer her questions.

"Sometimes, and I've done that before, but to be fair the gap between the bars was weirdly wide--" He was interrupted by a different question before he could ramble an answer, but this one made him chuckle a little, raising a finger up to awkwardly scratch at his cheek. "Well, a couple minutes ago you could have tasted fruit punch jello, but now that I'm back to normal human, I imagine I just might smell sugary but taste like regular human, you know? Like...salt, I guess?" he reasoned, all the while his smile widened over something stupid. "No one's first reaction to me has been 'you're so cool!' before," Theo admitted, an atrophied part of himself giving the smallest of stirs. There was a time when this kind of acknowledgment would have meant the world to him. A stranger placing value on him? That hadn't happened since he'd been a young, up-and-coming hero, a Rising Star in his old world. Five or six years ago, in that brief period of blissful respite between major life mistakes, when he'd had a bubble of happiness in a flying home full of friends and Rin's giggles. Ah, but he was no hero these days. He'd probably never been one. Everything was gone now.

Before the darkness could publically swallow him up in the middle of a farmer's half-destroyed field, Theo realized he hadn't checked on the General Jelly Jiggler (whoever that was) superfan. "Oh. OH! Hey, hey, how are you? Any bumps and bruises? I think my jello bandaids still work, at least a little...Maybe... yeah probably!"

[wc: 634 || total: 2922]
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When Pigs Fly! | Theo Empty Re: When Pigs Fly! | Theo

Post by Jamie Mon Jan 24, 2022 5:12 pm



☆ When Pigs Fly! ☆


Ooh~! He really was squishy like the General!

Delighted by the turn of events, her smile grew brighter at his face squishing and squashing under her light tugs. “Woah…” she breathed out in disbelief and a whole lot of wonder. The bits of fear that still shook her senses began to whittle away and disperse with each amusing little pinch. In her short time in Vyldermire she’d never met anyone quite like this! To have the powers so similar to the great and extremely silly Jiggler…! He was a very lucky man in her eyes; and she considered herself quite the lucky girl to have met him.

Though perhaps the reason why she considered herself as lucky as she did was a little misplaced. Because even as his face returned to normal and her hands removed themselves from his now less-than-squishy face, it was clear from the way her eyes sparkled with enthusiasm that she was seeing him more as a bright blue block of sentient jelly. This was only broken, however, when the gasping and wheezing started. “Oh!” She perked to attention immediately, now realizing that she’d been sitting on the poor guy and crawled off him a bit embarrassed for not having noticed. “Sorry, sorry…”

Still, the more he talked the more he shifted between one thing and the other. At one he was jelly, then he was a cute boy, then back to jelly, and then back to boy. If only she had someone to tell about this when she went back home her day would be totally made! An enthusiastic smile grew ever wider on her pudgy face, a soft “Mhm!” and wander-filled “Aah…!” of understanding being breathed out as he answered her questions.

“Well, clearly they don’t see what I see,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest as though the very thought of him being anything but cool could bring her offense. “You’re cool and that’s that!” There was finality to her tone. Nothing would make her change her mind right now. Maybe she was being a rash judge of character and, well, she was; but she worked on the basis that unless shown otherwise everyone was dandy in her book. A little unfounded, yes. But that's just how Jamie's brain worked.

It was then that a light heat began to surface to her palms, the adrenaline from earlier wearing off and pain gradually working its way into back into her body. She brought them up to her face. Light red marks from holding onto the rope were becoming redder, inflammation starting to do its thing.

“Oh, I’m fiiine no need to—” She didn’t seem to stress about it at first, but a key word sent a second wave of enthusiasm rushing through her. “Jello band-aids…!?” Her head practically whipped up to face him. “In that case,” she shifted on her bum, letting her bare legs splay out next to him. A good few scratches and bruises from chasing after pigs all day covered them. Clearly, wearing shorts for the day was not the best idea. But who knew any of this was going to happen? “There’s this here… and this one here… Oh! Oh! And can’t forget this one. Who knew pigs could kick that hard?” She pointed them out happily, remembering all the times she hit the floor before dealing with Inosuke-kun.

“And, uh…” She blinked a few times, having completely forgotten about her hands despite having just looked at them a second ago. “…This?” Her smile was sheepish as she brought her hands up once more to show him. Possibly the worst offender out of all the damages she’d sustained, and the only one that would cause her any real discomfort later down the line.

Despite all the obvious willingness, she did retract her hands slightly, fingers gently curling into her palms, when she remembered how he seemed to doubt them working. “Oh…? You aren’t sure if they work? Do you have a limit to what you can or can’t do or something?” She asked, cocking her head to one side. He really didn’t have to help her out if he couldn’t!

Word Count: 0714
Total Word Count: 3002

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When Pigs Fly! | Theo Empty Re: When Pigs Fly! | Theo

Post by Theo Wed Feb 09, 2022 1:40 am

"You were kicked by a pig," Theo repeated, somewhat deadpan for a moment before the soft 'pffft' hissed out and he started giggling at the mental image he'd conjured. He continued to have little bouts of giggles as he tended to all her little bumps and scrapes, lightly slapping a rainbow assortment of gummy bandaids on each one as she listed or pointed to it, like it was a game. They smelled delicious, and the light tingling she might feel was just a sign they were working. It was the nice cooling action while the magic did its thing, though it had been quite the feat to retrain his magic to line up with this world's flavor of magic to get things like this to work again. He'd only tried it once or twice...

Then came her hands. As she held them out, by far the worst offenders, Theo's giggles and smiles stopped cold and he gasped, then winced. "Why didn't you start with these?" he lightly scolded, just taking it in. Rope burn. Ouch ouch ouch, he knew it well and had had it in more places on his body than he wanted to admit or cared to explain. About the time he reached for them, she pulled them back.

"Ah, well, everyone has a limit. My thing is more..." he trailed, hesitating for a second. He hadn't been real smart about things when he first got here. He hadn't known to hide he was an otherworlder really, and even when he did notice some bad reactions, he thought 'how bad can it be, it's still the truth'. It could be bad. But... no one ever accused Theo of being smart or cautious. "I'm not from here, so getting my magic to do what it used to do is a bit wonky, but I think I got it..." he explained, offering her a kind smile as he reached out for her hands. Uncurling her fingers, he ran his hands gently over her palms and fingers, coating it in some soothing, glimmery goop that smelled of limes. Though not cutely bandaid shaped, it was a thin second skin that would allow her to use her hands but benefit from the healing flowing into her skin.

Peaking his arctic blue eyes up to meet hers, Theo seemed a little sheepish. How would she react to his revelation. Hopefully, she'd still want his help. "I promise I'm nice, you don't have to worry!"

[wc: 411 || total: 4047]
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