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Reasoning for Low Presence

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Reasoning for Low Presence Empty Reasoning for Low Presence

Post by Colter Tue Jul 27, 2021 10:12 am

This is an explanation for my lack of presence. It contains a heavy subject matter, so content warning in advance.

Sorry for being gone for so long y'all. I have been coming to grips with mortality and the mysteries of what occurs after you die. It's been an all consuming dread that has, unfortunately, taken hold of me stronger than I ever expected it to. Its caused a level of depression that, at the moment, seems to coming and going. I have far too many theories about why I feel this way, and far too many suggestions on how to combat it. Whatever the case, its why I don't pop into the chat as much. I need to find the things I value and enjoy and hopefully they can help me come to terms with this feeling. I have no idea why I have this in my heart and head. But I thank you all for the support.
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Reasoning for Low Presence Empty Re: Reasoning for Low Presence

Post by Nessa Cordelia Lux Tue Jul 27, 2021 1:14 pm

So, from talking to you I know how much this is bothering you. This is probably gonna sound cheesy and annoying, for which I'm sorry in advance, I'm also going to use my own circumstance as an example because that's all I have to offer rn.

It's going to be hard but if there's anything that I have learned is that what you give yourself is so important to your mental well-being. I gave myself to an incompatible relationship for eight years because I felt like I had no other choice, I was trapped. Tied to a future that I did not want because it was both expected of me and I thought it was the best outcome for my son. But I was wrong. It made me more miserable than I could have ever anticipated, it was a struggle on so many accounts and I genuinely thought that I have no control over my life. But I did, I just needed to see that it was MY life, that it belonged to me and no one/nothing else.

What you choose to give yourself to at any particular moment really needs to reflect the things you want your life to be. When you give yourself to these thoughts of dreads or factors out of your control, you are actively taking yourself away from the parts of your life that make you happy. Like if you were to think about things you enjoy, love etc, think of how much fun you have when things are great right, during those times when things are truly amazing, are you dwelling on these things? Probably not, you can say they are but it's more likely that during the really, really wonderful moments you have forgotten about them. And because you aren't focused on them you are giving yourself to whatever it is that makes you happy.

It's true that life is finite, and we have theorised and speculated on what happens after death. I personally believe there is life after, based on my own experiences where God saved me in the past. But regardless of what I can and cannot prove, there is that one cliche that will always prove to be true, as corny as it is.

You really have to live in the moment.

If you spend too much time focused on the past or the future, you will miss the possibilities that are right in front of you. The possibilities to be happy and just enjoy what you have.

You are an amazing person Colty and it sucks to see you suffer. You deserve happiness, and know that I, along with many others on this site, are here for you if you ever need to talk.

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Nessa Cordelia Lux
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